By Vivian Hart
People with high self-confidence naturally have optimistic and joyful emotions as well as the knowledge that they can change their emotions from negative to positive. You can’t be down in the dumps and have high self-confidence at the same time. The two don’t mix.
Emotions are a normal part of life. They indicate how you feel about a situation and any needed actions. When you have high self-esteem and self-confidence, you radiate joy and feel good about life, both about your own life and life in general. You feel secure and have an open heart and calm mind.
The higher your level of emotional health, the more self-worth you have. Even when things go wrong, you’re composed and tranquil, ready to deal with the situation in a constructive way.
Exercise: Steps to Improving Your Emotions
Step One: Become aware of which emotions you have. Become aware of what triggers you, what sets you off and gets you upset as opposed to what gets you very excited and happy. Is it a television show that brings up certain emotions? Is it words you hear from certain people that press your buttons? Is it a loving gesture that makes you feel affection? Is it something that happens that reminds you of a situation from your childhood or other experience in your life?
Step Two: Observe what’s going on in your body. With both negative and positive emotions, your temperature, heart rate and breathing pattern will change. Realize that any particular event can evoke different emotions in different people, so any emotions that arise within you are guided by your thoughts and interpretation of events.
Step Three: Notice what you’re automatically reacting to. When you can identify that, you can begin to work through the emotion and identify the best way to act in different situations. Think about how your response will impact both yourself and others and what the consequences of any words you speak or actions you take will be.
The ideal is to consciously shift from negative emotions that deplete you to emotions that strengthen you, such as joy, acceptance, gratitude, enthusiasm, and peace. When you work through harmful emotions and focus on those that invigorate you, your self-confidence will increase dramatically.
Tips to Being More Positive
Even when you focus on carrying a positive attitude at all times, we all know that life can be full of irritations – your dog runs away, someone sideswipes your car, your plane is late, you have to work overtime to get a project done. All of these can cause a bad mood and throw your emotions into a downward spiral. Here are some tips to brighten your outlook:
• Call a friend or relative to talk about the difficulty
• Put on some soothing music and relax, or instead dance to some foot-stomping music
• Read a book or work on a puzzle or other fun project
• Call a friend and go out to get your mind off the situation
• Go out in nature and enjoy the plants and animals
• Do something creative like drawing or crocheting
• Go for a drive and enjoy the scenery
• Take a walk and enjoy the scenery
• If it’s a complex problem, look at all the parts of the problem and then try to see the entire picture, looking for a solution that will work for everyone involved
Having emotional health isn’t difficult, but it does take focus and concentration. Be aware of what you’re feeling and direct your emotions into something more upbeat. Your self-confidence will rise at the same time.
Choose several songs that inspire your positive emotions. Play them first thing every morning. And dance to them, if you’d like!
Vivian Harte is the co-author of Self-Esteem for Dummies in the Dummies series. She offers kits with articles, guided visualizations, and songs as well as online courses, group coaching and 1-on-1 coaching, and you can find out more about these at her website, self-esteem-for-me.com. To identify where you are now on the confidence scale and understand why you need to grow to be on a much higher level, download her free kit How Self-Confidence Improves Your Life.
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